People make mistakes all the time. Sometimes it seems that all we do is mess up. When we do mess up, our mess up’s tend to hurt people. The courteous thing to do would be to forgive the mistakes. No matter how many times we mess up. However, what if that person messes up more than once? How many times to you forgive? Should you really forget about it?
My siblings and I sometimes get into arguments, like all siblings. After we’ve yelled, we usually just forget about it. One person mumbles an apology, and the other gives their forgiveness. Sometimes I wonder, though, if this is the best way to handle a disagreement.
Some people say that that you should always forgive. Give them a second chance. Or a third. And maybe a twenty-seventh chance. No matter how many times someone wrongs you, you forgive them, plain and simple. However, that gets tiring. It becomes hard to say, “It’s okay”, when really, it’s not.
I believe that you should always eventually forgive, no matter how many times you were wronged, even if some cases might take more time than others. I don’t believe that forgiveness should be merely handed out like cheap candy on Halloween. I believe that people should earn forgiveness. If they really want to be forgiven, they need to prove it. They should at least attempt to right the wrong.
When people make mistakes, part of the good in those mistakes is to learn from them. If someone does something wrong, and you forgive them right after they merely apologize, then what are they learning? That any wrongdoing can be easily righted with some overused words? That isn’t the message that someone should get out of a disagreement.
Sometimes, you might be ready to fix the problem, but the other person isn’t. When this happens, all you can do is attempt to the best of your ability to solve it, and if that doesn’t work, let it go. You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself. If the other person doesn’t want to resolve the issue, then your only option is to let it go and move on.
Disagreements need to be resolved or forgotten, and people need to be forgiven. If arguments aren’t resolved, then you start to hold a grudge, and that’s not good for anyone. Arguments should be acknowledged and learned from. Forgiving and forgetting is sometimes a harder part of life, but it’s an important part nonetheless. Forgive and then let it go. See you next week!
“Reprinted from Hagel Publications, Inc. dba as Courier Newspapers”