I am the hostess of the Pity Party. I am also the only attendee. It does not bode well to be a smashing success.
This whole thing started when I finally had to come to grips with the fact I was losing my hearing. Not just a little bit of hearing – a whole boat load. I tried to ignore the fact I was missing conversations and asking others to repeat themselves two and three times. I saw an audiologist. He thought he could fix me up to hear for a few thousand dollars.
Coincidentally I had a routine appointment with my PCP about then and he suggested I see a ear, nose throat specialist. I did and he wanted an MRI of my head. I didn’t disagree it might be a good idea to see if there was something blocking nerve endings. I had no clue what a closed MRI meant. All told it was 45 minutes rolled like a mummy into a closed cavern and told not to move. Maybe the one time not hearing was a blessing as things banged and crashed which they told me was taking the images needed. There truly was no way I would have moved as never in my life do I want another MRI!!
That MRI showed my head was in good shape but the specialist thought I should see a surgical ear, nose, throat specialist. I did that and it wasn’t long before the words cochlear implant were coming at me. It gave me the shivers then and does as I write it to think of opening my head and putting some ‘chips’ in. Fortunately this office could not agree that I was really a candidate so I decided for them I was not a candidate and left.
Now all these months I still can’t hear. I went back to the original audiologist who fitted an amplification hearing aid in 2006. I had now had at least 6 hearing tests and she did another. The results never changed. “You have,” they would say, “a profound hearing loss”. At this last test I think I blew and said “Tell me something I don’t know and then what can we do about it”.
Now two audiologists and three hearing aids later I am fitted with the best technology can offer in a hearing aid, a phone adapter, a TV adapter and a microphone to offer others in the event I am somewhere and can’t hear the conversation. All of these things require daily recharging. I also bought a spare of each so recharging has to be programmed into my nightly routine.
So why the Pity Party? I don’t know. It is what it is and I get by. One of my hardest things is word recognition. If you say face I might think you said place, mace or any other rhyming word. It can be funny and it can be embarrassing. Again it is what it is. The days of sweet nothings in my ear are gone.
I’ve had enough of adapting. I do whatever I want.
The Pity Party is over.